很喜歡自己

There's a hero, if you look inside your heart.
You don't have to be afraid, for what you are.

有些人很奇怪，都喜歡看著別人好投訴自己的不足。
更令人不解的是，別人看你很好，但你總說 ‘不是哪有'。
可笑的是，我是其中之一。
身邊的人總勸我，說我太好太幸福，哪有理由沒自信。
看著我的，都覺得我應該做什麼也可以，像蝴蝶一樣自由自在。
有家人，有朋友，有青春，有將來-我沒什麼呢？
無奈我就是走不出自己的迷宮。
在我看來，我大有不足之處。
但不愛自己，無補於事，唯接受才能更上一層樓。
現在的我會說，我很喜歡自己。然後向目標繼續前進，繼續努力。

思前想後

7月21日

又一次要把那份感覺放下，
用工作逼自己忘記。
其實真的以為這次有希望，
真的想好好付出，盼以後會開花結果。
但原來曾是關心我的也未必會珍惜，
說緊張我，想我， 但又可以不理我。
可能我只是他私人生活裡毫不重要的角色，
是我把自己看得太高，其實是可有可無。
惟有把自己收起來，努力在事業上拼搏，
希望有一天終於屬於我的，
會用一切方法告訴我他需要我。
而這一個人會證明我每一滴淚，
都是為了學會愛他，和他相處。
總有一天。。。

仕方がないから強くなれ

２０１１年四月二十三日

私の生活はCAの試験を取り始まる時から忙しくなったのに、前より簡単だとおもう。
時間があれば、こんな事あんな事も考えずきる。そして、悲しくて、寂しくなる。
いつも仕事と勉強すると、価値無い事情や意味無い問題も考えない。
しかし、疲れるときまだ寂しくなるだろう。CAを取るこの二年間多分彼氏も見付けられないだろう。
それでもこのもっとも愛情第一の私は、今やはり仕事第一だ。
強い性格ではない、ただ今の男性は大体自分が一番大切にする。
彼女や家族も後だ。依頼すると大丈夫かな。
実はね、今の女性でも、自分を守る人が欲しいなの。自分を守る人に感謝するため、何でもできる。
自分が大事にする男性のため何でもできる女性も強いと思うけど。
私も同じだ。ただいまこの強さを仕事に使う。
私を守る人が無いなら、自分を守るように。
’あの人、性格強い過ぎ’といわないでください。
悪いが、この性格も私の生存ため必要な工具だ。
怖かったら、こちに来ないな。要らないから。

RE: From me to Me

Rely on no one but thee for thy happiness.

On 10th January 2011, I wrote a letter to myself. Looking back, I could still feel the same loneliness as I did, if I wanted to. Being single wasn't easy, but it is harder to deal with relationships that aren't meant to be, be it family, friends or love. Over the past months I have gotten used to being single. I realised that the solution to loneliness is keeping myself busy with family and friends, and enjoy my down time. It is funny that of all people, I, today said that I need some more alone time, some down time. By which I really mean TV time.

The reply...

Dear the Inner Veronica,

After months of effort, I have established fair miles in my career path. I am now in Hong Kong refurnishing myself from the inside to the outside to ensure that I am up for the challenge, and strong enough to stand through thunders that have yet to come.

An important lesson for me to learn now, is really just how to be patient and pick out the best cherry from the tree. I conceal my feelings now, let them lie deep within. I shall judge with my mind before my heart would commit. I hope that next time my time and effort would be well spent.

Veronica.

=================================

Dear Veronica,

Just a few reminders.

*Life is not perpetual, if you want something done, do it now. You don't need anyone or anything to keep you happy. You simply have to be satisfied with what you have, right here right now.

*Work is on-going (and you would hope it continue to be), so to achieve work satisfaction it should come from within yourself. You know you can do better, give everything your best and have no regrets. Make me proud!

*Every fear and sadness will only make you stronger - face each of your challenge with confidence, faith, motivation and laughter!

*You may feel like you are alone, but cherish it, because you know deep down that one day some idiots (whom you may happen to love) may just rob you of your alone time.

Last but not least, you have been so much of a loser lately, pick it up girlie!

Love,

The Inner Veronica